I have had an epiphany! Stemming from an argument with my significant other this morning... the recession is playing havoc with us all...and  I have a confession to make to the rest of the world

. Although for years I have tried to hide it, the time has come for me to come clean and let the world get back to doing what it should be doing in the first place - without my apparent interference in everything.

 

EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT! The fact that our company is STILL waiting for its registration number... ME. SARS not returning tax to my husband....ME. No Fat Free milk at Woolies.... ME. Cell C not sending the right invoice.... ME. Our local shops being busy on a Saturday.... ME. The PVR not recording right.... ME. Pork chops for supper when he actually wanted chicken.... ME. Having to work because he has put it off and now the deadline is knocking on his door..... ME

The present cold snap in Gauteng... ME. The fighting in Afganistan... ME. The gender row surrounding Caster Semenye.... ME. The world Bank being in touble... Yup, You guessed it ...ME.

The fact that every single group in SA, from refuse to nursing, goes on strike for a better wage... ME. Global warming (now this took a lot of planning and work on my part, years in fact) ...ME.

I am a busy girl!

What I can't understand is why I only do the bad things in the world. I have a soft, kind heart but seemingly my wicked ways over take the good I mean to do. I had nothing to do with putting the wildfires surrounding Athens out (but perhaps I actually started them????). I have no part in starving children finally finding food and a home.

On a more realistic level... I have nothing to do with him finding a cooked meal when he gets home from work. I have nothing to do with making sure my cats are fed and healthy. I have NOTHING to do with paying his cellphone bill, his internet bill, his DSTV bill. It wasn't me who made doctors appointments for his sick mother. I certainly was otherwise detained when he needed underpants, socks, pyjama pants etc (even if they are always the wrong colour, size, material). That accolade should go the the little gnomes that seemingly live in my house somewhere. (I can't ever find the little buggers)..Perhaps he should ask one of them to marry him, then, without all the distractions that REALLY take up my time, I can take my universal powers of evil and really get to use them properly! - While smoking a cigarette and stroking my white cat, Sam, I can really make things happen.... Perhaps I'll start by banning invisible house gnomes that steal my thunder.......